Western Wellies

Howdy! I've got 12 minutes to get this up until it's Friday! Our internet's been down all day. :P Awwwkward: Running through Whole Foods' parking lot barefoot. Twice. Trying to find a place to get turtle meat semi-locally so we don't have to pay shipping. I called literally a dozen places. The responses to, "Hi, I was wondering if you sold turtle meat?" were usually, "Whhhat?!" Turtle meat. "Oh, no, maam. We don't carry that!" But my favorites were: "Whhhat?! In Nashville? Thailand maybe. Why would you want turtle meat?! Those poor turtles. You shouldn't be eating that." and when Chappy from Chappy's on Church (a restaurant) called me back: "Ha! You're not gonna...