Adventures in No Internet Land

Have you ever wondered what life without internet and cable would be like? I am here to tell you what it is like. You go through stages. You go through denial. You say that you can do it. Then you realize that you can't download documents on your computer. You can't send lengthy emails because auto-correct changes every other word. You try and adapt to it by going to Starbucks at 7:00 am. You change the Starbucks locations so the baristas don't think you are a loser. You realize you are spending $10 a day on WiFi by buying coffee. You realize that your friend in Madagascar has constant internet and you, in Kansas City, IN THE UNITED STATES, does not have it. You call...