Responsible Asparagus

I wanted to look especially responsible today. Not that I assume I look like a scoundrel-miscreant or some kind of villainous, scheming, law-breaking, disturber-of-the-peace most days... But today I wanted to look like the type of person you would trust to teach your children how to add fractions with unlike denominators. Like the kind of person who slows down at yellow lights to let the oncoming left turners go instead of zooming through the intersection and whacking the roof of the car for luck. Like the kind of person you would want to give a lower interest rate to. That kind of person. I figured lace up oxfords, houndstooth pants, a small satchell, and a...